Twas the night before the Smurf movie, when all through the village
Not a Smurf was stirring, not even Cook Smurf (......because in his excitment he ordered home delivery pizza instead)
The white hats were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Showtime soon would be there.
The Smurflings were smurfed all snug in their beds,
While visions of popcorn & soda packaging danced in their heads.
And Smurfette in her lingerie, and Syd in her lap,
Had just settled strains for a long smurfy nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Papa sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window it exploded like a flash,
Brainy tore open Jokey's present, and finished in ash.
Syd on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave frostbite to his face when the temp reached minus below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But 16 new McDonalds Smurfs, I swear this is all getting too dear.
With so many new items coming out, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment they'd be cheaper to nick.
More new plushes than Brad's collection of fame
New t-shirts, cookies, and even a bloody Smurf game!
"Now Papa! now, Clumsy! now, Brainy and that blonde Vixen!
On credit cards, On Paypal, on my bank account that's taking a Blitzen!
To Toys R Us! to the local shopping mall!
Now cash away! cash away! I'll take at least 2 of them all!"
As they come on sale there's a need to just buy,
I'll have so many new Smurfs that could mount to the sky.
So up to the Smurf room with the latest lot of blue,
With a shi....um, smurf load of Toys, and Syd Smurf too.
And then, in a twinkling, a butterfly on the roof
And Shy Smurf hiding behind his cottage, acting quite aloof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Santa Smurf came with a bound.
There was Azrael in orange fur, from his head to his foot,
And Gargamel tarnished with Jokey's ashes and soot.
A bundle of Happy Meal Smurfs he had flung on his back,
And he looked like he was hungry, as he chewed on his Big Mac.
Gutsy's eyes-how they twinkled! his face was quite hairy!
His blue butt cheeks were visible, from his coloured quilt that was cherry!
The Doofus Clown was present with his customary bow,
And his finger was pointing, but at what I don't know.
Papa smoked his pipe that he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like the Christmas Smurf wreath.
Smurfette sprayed mace but it only hit Syd's belly,
And Gutsy's quilt flourished as he let out something smelly!
Cook Smurf had got chubby and plump, a right jolly blue elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, cos I've now got a belly myself!
A wink of Syd's eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, he was taking Smurfette back to bed.
Smurfette spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
I don't understand why she could love such a egosmurfical jerk.
Hefty laying his finger inside the tip of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the nostril it rose!
I sprang to the forum, to see what was new,
Even though I should be sleeping cos tomorrow turns blue.
But I heard Gerda debate whether cookies should be consumed
They'd make great movie treats but the smurfs would be doomed
Only one more sleep until the big blue day
As I go to bed, Syd is rolling in the hay
We've been waiting 4 years for this movie to be done
I hope everyone gets to see it, I hope everyone has fun.
Merry Smurf Movie Guys and a Happy Blue Year